#107 For A Better You

Wounds won't heal,
if you keep reminiscing.

Heartbroken won't recover,
if you are denying reality.

Moving on ain't that hard at all,
if you stop looking the rear-view mirror.

Starting afresh ain't bad idea after all,
if you dream a brighter future.

sarahsaa'din

#105 Priceless

Lebih takut tidak punya masa, dari tidak berharta.
Punya banyak harta, bukan kau boleh beli masa
 -- duit ada, tapi esok belum pasti ada.
Punya masa; lagi kaya dari yang banyak harta
 -- kalau esok kau masih ada, maka kau ada peluang cuba banyak benda.

Hargai yang ada, selagi ada
 -- jangan dikejar yang tiada jaminannya.

Hari ini kaya, kalau esok mati,
tidak juga kau bisa bawa semuanya ke kubur.
Dan kalau kau diberi lebih satu hari untuk bernafas,
masih kau bisa luangkan masa dengan kesayangan.

Masa adalah sesuatu yang tidak bertanda harga.

Kalau masa bisa dijual-beli,

rasanya aku yang paling miskin sekali.

sarahsaa'din

#95 Kerana Sayang

kerana sayang, Dia ajar kita merasa susah.
kalau tidak, Dia biarkan tidak di-endah.
kerana sayang, Dia tunjukkan jalan.
kalau tidak, Dia biarkan sesat tidak pulang.
kerana sayang, Dia mahu kita belajar
erti payah sebelum senang.
kerana sayang, Dia sentiasa ada
walaupun kadang, kita terlupa.

terima kasih untuk "sekali lagi" peluang.

sarahsaa'din

New Life.

Have you ever felt short of breath when you are running for miles without any warming-up session before it ? Or, have you ever experienced body aching after dancing out of beats ? Yet still, you love it. You love the sweats, pains, struggles as it makes you stronger than ever. That is precisely how I feel right now, and hell yeah, I am not regretting any of my decisions made !

Ouh, hello 2015 !
My new year just started.

sarahsaadin

#93 Farewell 2014

One of many years that I wish to remember for many years to come -- 2014.

2014 has been too good for me. So many good things happened. So many good memories I have made. I learnt about how's life being so fair to me, I learnt that best friends can either be your family or foes, and I got to know the feeling of seeing beautiful rainbow after stormy rainy weather. 2014 helped me find my oneself, helped me forgot those struggling year of 2012 and self-recovery phase in 2013. This year proved I grew stronger than before, in a new self-perspective, and yeah, I like this new me.

Scrolling down my Facebook timeline for this year and I realized that I have achieved so many personal goals. Though I struggled at first, but then, in the end I smiled and being proud of myself. Not just to say that I'm proud of myself as I graduated this year along with my fellow friends, but the most important thing that I have achieved in this year was, I re-discovered myself.

Since two years ago, I was not really emotionally stable, but I hid it well. Yeah, I expressed them mostly through writing. Sometimes I did cried myself to sleep yet still managed to put a smile on my face the next day. I was a little bit lost back then, and it took me two freaking years to be at this point I am standing right now. I have being mean towards few people simply because I found it was too hard for me to explain to them, or maybe they might not gonna understand my problems at all.

I learnt a lot about life.

1. Life is like a mysterious maze.

2. Look for Him, you will found your way.

3. You are on the right track when you are not interested with the past.

I learnt a lot about myself.

1. Writing is a therapy for me.

2. It also an escapism for me and makes me a little less cruel.

3. To only think about your feelings is not selfish. It is self-respect.

Life-hack that I have learnt:

"Pura-pura kau kuat, sampai satu masa kau lupa kau lagi sedang pura-pura, dan yang cuma tinggal hanya kau yang kuat sahaja."

Aku masih dalam perjalanan

mencari aku, juga sedang mengenal Tuhan.

sarahsaa'din

#62 Baru

... tuk tak ... tuk tak ...
gigih papan kekunci diketuk .
... shrit shrit ... shrit shrit ...
bergerisik kertas diselak .
... psst psst ... psst psst ...
sayup-sayup suara curi berbual .

sesekali ku curi pandang ,
tiada alis mata yang berbalas senyuman .

*mengeluh*

semua kepala menunduk malu
tapi bukan dengan aku ,
cuma berteleku ,
di depan komputer , endahkan kewujudan aku .


ini, baru buat aku .

sarahsaadin

#41 Satu Kurnia

Rasa itu satu kurnia.
Jangan dibuang begitu sahaja.
Ia hadir tanpa diduga, tidak semena.
Jangan dipersia-sia.

Jangan permainkan rasa,
sungguh pun kau tak suka.
Kelak, hilangnya ia,
tiada rasa nikmat dunia.

Sungguh kau buta.

sarahsaadin

#35 Pieces

Aku umpama, menyuluh dalam terang, menghela dalam sempit.

I'm trying to keep on trying. I guess, this is the end. I'm tired, exhausted. Every inch of my heart ached because you brought me a lover that doesn't last, doesn't even exists. On top of it, you left me a very deep scar. No matter how hard I've tried to hide, somehow, it still shows up.

I'm traumatized, 2011, because of you, I'm suffering of a bad case of philophobia; fear of emotional attachment, fear of falling in love. I know I might have made this up in my mind, it might not even be real, but I know, things get harder for me now, more than ever. The feelings that you tried to chase away from your heart but it still coming back. It's so hard.

On a brighter side, I am renewed. I've found something that I've always been searching for.

Me.


I'm glad that I have my family and friends who believe in me, now I know I have them, those who will always support me no matter what I do. Who will always love me for who I am and for who I used to be. Yes, I'm more myself now. I want to put my happiness first, before others. I've rejected too much of others' efforts to make me happy, because I simply thinks that I'm not eligible for it. I've built walls around myself. It becomes thicker everyday. I think, I'm less forgiving of myself than others to me.

"Sometimes, people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

I guess, that's the exact reason why the walls get thicker and higher, day by day.
Oh, you know 2011, you ain't such a bad year. I will still love you, and I will always remember you as the year that breaks me, and makes me. If I had the chance to re-do 2011, I won't. Even if I had to re-do, I will choose the day when we first met, so I can re-do the moment when I sneak a peek just to see you're busy taking pictures. And I will choose the day when I approved your friend request, so that we don't become friends.

Thank you 2011. Thanks for everything. Who knows what 2012 might bring ? I still have another 4 months to survive. We'll never know what's coming. I should have said these things, long time ago. But, I don't. Maybe because I'm too scared.

Kerana, aku seperti,

pejam ketika siang,

mengharungi walau perit.

sarahsaadin

#10 Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit

Sedangkan adik-beradik pun boleh bergaduh. Ini kan pula, antara kawan-kawan. Hal terasa, mahupun tersentuh hati tentang hal-hal kecil, itu semua asam garam adat berkawan. Tapi, kadang-kadang pernah tak kita terfikir yang ada tutur kata kita telah berbekas dalam hati sesiapa ? Maksudnya sama macam, pernahkah kita buat sesiapa terguris hati dengan perkataan yang keluar dari mulut kita ? Sama ada bermaksud atau tidak bermaksud. 

Kalau yang memang bermaksud, maaflah. Saya tidak tahu bagaimana dan tidak mahu untuk komen tentang taraf dan cara pemikiran anda. Bagi yang betul-betul tidak bermaksud untuk membuat sesiapa, terasa hati, apa yang dapat saya cadangkan ialah, tidak salah bagi anda untuk jadi pihak pertama yang menampilkan diri untuk memohon maaf. 

The first to apologize is the bravest. Even though, obviously, it was not your fault. 

Ketepikan tingginya ego untuk meminta maaf. Isn't it prove that you're the bravest ? Am I right ? In friendship term, its means that you value your friendship MORE than your ego that doesn't going to take you to anywhere. 

Sungguh pun, salah faham yang berlaku, mungkin disebabkan orang lain; being the first to forgive is the strongest. Believe me. If you have hatred and grudge in your heart, you won't be able to sleep tight during night. Because having such problems like this, will torture your brain by keep on thinking how tomorrow's gonna look alike. Tidak salah rasanya, klau sebelum melelapkan mata untuk tidur, lapangkan dada, dan cuba memaafkan semua orang. Berdoa semoga setiap orang diberi peluang untuk menjadi lebih baik pada esok hari. InsyaAllah, you will not having insomnia. hehe.

Being the first to forget is the happiest. 

Moga kalian bisa tersenyum saat melihat mentari muncul menyinari seluruh pelusuk bumi. :)
Buat yang bernama sahabat, kawan, teman mahupun rakan, mohon maaf jika saya pernah terkasar bahasa.

Karma

Do you believe in karma ? The Buddhist belief that whatever you do, comes back to you . For example, if you do something good, something good will happen to you, and vice versa. Even Muslims also believe that Allah will grant us for something good that we did. Same as what goes around, comes around, huh. And ouhh, that vice versa, is the part that I don't like. Heh ? I bet everyone don't like it. Agree (?) Then, what about, karma in relationship ? Do you believe ? I don't have any experience on that particular situation, but I guess there is.

do you believe ?